In the past, when people asked me how I was doing, my most common response was:
“I’m really busy.”
I’d usually let out a sigh as I said this.
But if you listened closely, there was actually a hint of pride hidden in that sigh.
Being busy meant that someone needed me.
It meant I was handling important tasks.
It meant my schedule was packed, my inbox was constantly filling up with new emails, and I wasn’t wasting any time.
If not much happened throughout the day, I’d actually feel a bit uneasy.
Was my work not important enough?
Did people no longer need me?
Was someone more efficient quietly taking my place?
So, I’d keep taking on tasks.
Keep replying.
Keep telling people:
“No problem, leave it to me.”
I once had an extremely busy week.
Meetings followed one after another every day.
I often ate lunch in front of my computer.
When I got home in the evening, I’d sit on the couch and keep replying to messages, while telling my family:
“I’ll be done in a minute.”
That “minute” usually took over an hour.
That Friday afternoon, a colleague asked me a very simple question.
I looked at her.
She looked back at me.
I knew she was speaking Chinese, and I heard every word clearly.
But my brain seemed to have shut down.
All I could say was:
“Could you repeat that?”
Even after she repeated it, it still took me a long time to process what she’d said.
In that moment, I finally realized that being busy no longer made me look competent.
It was causing me to lose my most basic ability to think.
Later, I started keeping track of what I actually accomplished each day.
This came as a surprise to me.
Some days, I was busy for ten hours but didn’t make any progress on the most important tasks.
My time was fragmented into tiny pieces by meetings, notifications, last-minute issues, and constantly switching between tasks.
It looked like I was working the whole time.
But the things that truly required my focus remained untouched on my to-do list.
So, I started doing some things that I used to consider “not proactive enough.”
I started turning down meetings I didn’t need to attend.
I stopped treating every email as an emergency.
I set aside blocks of uninterrupted time for work that required deep thought.
I stopped reflexively saying “Yes” when I didn’t have enough breathing room.
The first time I said, “I don’t have time this week; I can get it done next week,” I almost felt like I’d made a mistake.
But the world didn’t stop turning because of it.
I’ve also gradually come to realize that being reliable doesn’t mean being online all the time.
Being capable doesn’t mean you have to take on everything.
A truly mature approach to work isn’t always about doing more; it’s about knowing which tasks you should handle yourself, which can be postponed, and which should be delegated to others.
This isn’t easy.
Especially when we’ve grown accustomed to proving our worth by staying busy.
An hour of free time can make us feel uneasy.
Leaving work on time might even make us feel guilty.
But once I stopped expending all my energy on “looking busy,” I found I was actually better able to tackle the issues that truly mattered.
My workload hasn’t decreased.
It’s just a little less chaotic.
Now, when people ask me how I’ve been lately, I still occasionally say, “I’ve been a little busy.”
Because life really does get busy.
But I no longer use that phrase as a way to define myself.
Being busy isn’t a badge of honor.
Nor is exhaustion proof of professional competence.
What’s truly worth being proud of isn’t a schedule with no empty slots.
It’s knowing where to prioritize your time, being able to get the important things done, and allowing yourself to truly step away from work at the end of the day.
Sometimes, the most professional decision isn’t to push through for another hour.
It’s to close your laptop and tell your future self:
“We’ll handle the rest tomorrow.”
Leave a Reply